Magix
Dabbler
57
<3 Matt
Posts: 2
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Post by Magix on Mar 25, 2010 18:57:09 GMT -8
Title: Wintress Background: Wintress is a short little thing I found in the back of my mind when writing some other RP with a friend. It's a rough one, but... C+C? Work:
Like an epidemic it spreads across the vast lands Taking the lives of the many who cross it The bitter coldness; the hollow death A cold winter’s breeze sweeps through the frozen tundra
She marches through the endless oblivion Falling into the deep chasm of cold and ice Her breath wisps away in the wind Her core freezes; his heart slows; her torch flickers in the wind
Another soul lost to the abyss Forever floating in the purgatory A soul burdened with hate and fear Collapses under winter’s might
Encased in a icy tomb Forsaken; forever cut off from salvation A cold winter’s breeze sweeps through the frozen tundra As another steps out into the dark…
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Post by BBMG on May 26, 2010 19:23:36 GMT -8
9. Lovely story, by me. A couple things here and there that lost me, but I don't think I would changed much. Just thought I'd point out that you forgot to make that "an"
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Post by CountingStars on May 28, 2010 17:04:50 GMT -8
I second BBMG's judging. 9. Wonderful story!
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Post by Sorcer on Jul 26, 2010 19:09:19 GMT -8
Lovely. Simple mistake there that BBMG mentioned. But I'll give it a 9 as well.
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